Family time. Caribbean style in a European way

It has been a while since I updated this blog, and it has a reason, no excuse, but a valid reason.
In 2013 my daughter was born, and my wife and I are raising her alone in The Netherlands. This takes quite some dedication and time. We do it with love and enjoy it. Now she is almost 2 years old, and we have entered her in daycare and soon she will enroll in pre-school. This will provide us with some free time.
Since our daughter entered our lives we often talk about the difference between living and raising a child in the Caribbean compared to in our case Europe. We have visited both Aruba and the Dominican Republic to let our families meet her. The biggest difference between the two regions is the role a family plays in your child's life and upbringing. In the Caribbean I feel much more dedication from relatives, and a more pro-active approach. In Europe people love the child, will help out from time to time, but it is more an exception to the rule.
In Europe things are structured and organized. What they expect you and your child to do from birth till her 18th birthday. And the child will enter into this system, which has its benefits and downsides. Time will tell in our case. We do miss our families even more now that we have a child and realize even more the value of having, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins etc. To be fair, the problem in Europe is that relatives often live far apart from each other, making it more difficult to just drop by or letting you bring over your child to them. In the Caribbean, distances are shorter, and very often relatives live next to each other or in the same neighborhood/village.
Therefore I think it has also to do with the geography of the Caribbean, having a positive effect on family situations. From a European perspective one could argue that the proximity of relatives brings a lot of social control and pressure. Relatives who meddle in your family situation for example.
As they say, the grass is always greener on the other side. I Think raising a child in both regions has benefits and challenges. For now, we are making the best of the European advantages and coping with the "missing" Caribbean culture. I just wonder what culture my child will tend to go for more. Nevertheless I think having both, she will be able to reap the benefits of both. Time will tell.

"Colonial mentality syndrome" A continuation on the blog: Are Caribbean professionals longing for home...?

Exactly 4 years ago I wrote a blog on Caribbean students becoming professionals and their longing to go back home. In that Blog I mentioned this blog (I travel through time). What I indicated then was that the topic is quite complex, that I wanted to dedicate an extra blog on it.

It is August 2014, a new load of Caribbean students are arriving in Europe and probably North and South America as well. The students of 2010 are probably graduating, or already have. We are still in a global recession, jobs are scarce and things have changed compared to 4 years ago.
In said previous blog I mentioned the "colonial mentality syndrome" (CMS). And promised I would refer to this in a future (this) blog. I don't have statistics and other data to give a scientific basis for this topic, but base myself on experiences and chats with fellow Caribs. This is a blog that is open for (constructive) criticism and feedback. You are welcome to share your opinion and views as well.

For a lot of Caribbean Islands Tourism is one of the top economical sectors or industries, and therefore generates many jobs. However, one can argue that the tourism industry generates many low-level (paying) jobs and little high level (paying) jobs. Here is where the CMS comes in. Many times the top jobs are filled by people not native to the Island. I must be honest and admit that I have experienced many locals (on various Islands) being part of top management. Nevertheless, I am still seeing many foreigners in top management. To me it is funny as it is a mirror effect of Western countries complaining that foreigners (incl. Caribs) take their jobs. Therefore I try to take an objective look at things and leave nationalism, pride and personal feelings/opinion aside. The world is becoming more and more a global marketplace. This includes the job market. Is it then such a bad thing that a non-native has a job in a country he/she is originally not from? As I see it now, one should go and work where there is work and you are able to be the best you can be and happy. Are you a European dreaming of working in the tropics? Go for it. Are you a Carib dreaming of a cosmopolitan lifestyle and career in a modern western city? Go for it. At this point we should not let man-made borders stop us achieving our dreams. This sounds nice and reads like an idealistic pamflet, and many might say: yes, but you don't now my situation...

I agree, things are not as black and white, easy and straightforward as we would like them to be. So lets go back to the title of the blog and take a look at developments and opportunities back home. In a modern and ever more globalised world, the chance is big that you end up looking for a job with a large company or corporation. In tourism for example you might end up at one of the large hotel/resort chains, cruise lines, Airlines or operators. "Aha" I hear you say, "they are the ones employing foreign westerners for the top positions", hence the CMS. I used to agree with this quick judgement, but have changed my opinion over time. I personally know a couple of Caribbean natives who worked their way up and now have senior level jobs at these large corporations/organizations. I also know a lot of Caribs who occupy top level jobs locally on the Islands. Should we still point that CMS finger then? maybe yes, maybe no, but in any case, less. It all boils down to what you bring to the table. "Talent does get recognised", I was told long ago, and I believe this. It also depends a lot on your own efforts. We can get comfortable and less hungry and then get stuck into a certain comfort zone. Is there still inequality and do Human Resource depts. still show preference to foreigners? Probably, but don't let that stop you. Opportunity levels can differ per Caribbean Island and I tend to hypothesise that the Spanish Caribbean suffers most of CMS. The limiting factors I encounter when talking to people are: not having acces to travelling documents (Visa) and limited knowledge of International languages (English).

One of the many pitfalls for professional Caribs returning home is getting frustrated, when they are not able to bring change fast, and falling into the conformity trap. In my opinion this trap is biggest when working for the public sector (as a civil servant and/or politician). You need to be aware and accept what you will encounter upon your return. Of course your will to provide a positive contribution should remain top of your agenda, but don't be naive and get burned down to easy and quick.
A fellow blogger recently posted an interesting piece on this topic (in Dutch), urging students to think hard before coming back. Especially when dealing with Student loans ion USD$ and Euros. His advice was to stay abroad first to build up your career and pay off your student loans. And many of his readers (on social media) agreed.

Why did I wrote this blog? As a 37 year old Caribbean native, I hope I can raise awareness on CMS and provide support for the new generations and their knowledge and will to change. If you feel that our generation (35+) can still stir-up a revolution....let me know

What's a Carib to do?

Being born and raised in the Caribbean has given me a certain foundation for the person that I am now: psychologically, culturally, socially and so on. The interesting thing is that in the Caribbean you have access to many influences from all over the world. In my case in the 80's & 90's we had strong influences from both the USA and Venezuela. Of course there have been other countries and cultures, but these two I consider the dominant ones. In my case having a European mother did provide me with a third pillar of foreign influence next to the US and Venezuela. Even by being an Island part of the Dutch Kingdom, other than the education system, there was not much Dutch influence. We can see the results now, where most youngsters prefer English as a second language and hardly dominate Dutch. During the FIFA World cup it is very obvious. Less than 40% of the Inhabitants root for the Dutch National team.
To get back on topic. Currently I am living in The Netherlands, Europe, and there is a lot happening. The Crimea, Venezuela protests, Financial institutions that lost our trust, ecological problems, racism in politics etc. etc. Very negative. There are positive things as well, but unfortunately the media tends to focus a lot on the negative news (its a cliché, but I perceive it as such). As I get older (and wiser hahaha) I tend to reach back more and more to my Caribbean roots and look for comfort and solace to cope with daily life. Especially now that I have a family to take care of. (What values do I give my daughter?) Increasingly, I feel that also in the Caribbean we are becoming to westernized and adopt the bad practices of the old "mother countries" and larger "super powers". This is weakening the very thing I want to fall back on.

Local Marketplace in San Cristobal de Las Casas
during my Chiapas visit

working in tourism I always find it funny to see how certain people are proud of the fact that they tend to choose "original" destinations. Not yet tainted by western developement. Mostly these are (to western standards) underdeveloped countries where the people still live like they used to for the past say 100 years, and everything is cheap. Do they think these people chose this life? Not all of them, there are regions where they have, but these are then often called dangerous. Because they are considered rebels or dangerous outlaws. I remember visiting the province of Chiapas in Mexico. One of the most beautiful places on earth (in my opinion), but hardly any tourists. Even though they offer a whole lot. I got the feeling that the locals, especially from Mayan decent, did choose their current lifestyle. but when doing research they are considered dangerous by mainstream media. Just because they (mostly simple farmers) stood up against the big boys and re-claimed their lifestyle (chiapas conflict). So where are all these tourists looking for the "original experiential vacation". People don't be fooled by the media. And not even by this blog if you will. Find out for yourself. All I can say is that this blogpost comes from the heart, and it is up to you to do with it what you want.
What does this have to do with the Caribbean? Well, there are Islands trying their very best to maintain alifestyle that differs from the developed west, and others go the other way. I will be very open and honest here. I work in tourism and live off the developments in the Caribbean that one can argue are good or bad. So if I were to say I am this rebel propagating a return to original values, development of the region and a break with the west, would be hipocritical. Nevertheless, I am growing concerned with how things are developing and it is though making the right choices. For example, I have invested in a condo somewhere in the Caribbean. However, some questions keep haunting me. Was the land where the project is built on purchased in an honest way? The Builders (mostly from a much poorer Island), are they being treated fair? Will I take part of living in a bubble and turn my head from the much needed help on the other side of the fence? Therefore my daily question is: what am I doing to provide a positive contribution?
There are many other things on various Islands that I don't agree with or that anger/sadden me. But also a lot of beautiful and really good things. Maybe I worry too much, but unlike I posted earlier (Do not succumb to stress), I am unable to let worries of the present situation and therefore the future go.

Therefore the title for this blogpost, What's a Carib to do?

Trying to keep the overview (on life)