Children in the Caribbean (and the world): innocent enthusiasm

Recently I have been listening, reading and experiencing some inspirational and motivational teachings. This started around 2006 when I was feeling a bit down and lost. almost ten years later, I am still learning. But the difference is that now I understand all the teachings much better. and by teachings I mean everything, From motivational speakers to the Bible to Zen. I lay my hands on anything I can get.
What I found was that there is a thread that holds all these different teachings together. It is that you yourself are the architect of your life. The most important thing/tool you have are your thoughts. And envisioning things is key. Whether positive or negative, whatever you envision will in some way come true.
So what has all this to do with the Caribbean you ask? Listening to a motivational podcast I remembered a story about this kid (who is an adult now with children of his own), which is a 'textbook" case of all what I have encountered and learned.

The Caribbean, just like any place in the world, can be challenging for kids to grow up in. There are many things holding us back: poverty, abuse, discrimination etc. etc. I myself have experienced some of it, but my problems fade away compared to the story I am about to share.

When I was little there was a boy living in my neighborhood. He was about 2 years younger than me. He came from a very humble background, raised by a single mother. They lived on "welfare" and were considered poor. Having the Dutch education system on Aruba, where background does not play a big role, we visited the same elementary school. There I remember this kid went through a rough time. He was bullied by both the other children and the teachers. At the time I did not realize it was bullying, but thought it was quite funny. Also in the neighborhood, he was looked down on and bullied. I'll spare you the details, but it resulted him transferring to another school. Later I understood that there he flourished and became a good student.
Apart from knowing him from school, we became kind of neighborhood friends. He would come to our house to play, and eventually he came every day. My mother especially took him under her wing, as she saw potential in him and felt a great deal of compassion. Being little myself, I was not able to understand and became quite jealous of this. Nevertheless, we became friends and this relationship lasted for a few years, until he turned about 12 and one of his relatives took him under their wing. In a nutshell, back then he was considered to not amount to much in life.

The remarkable thing that stuck with me was that he always had great visions for himself. For example he explained to us how he dealt with aggressive dogs attacking him when walking through the fields to get to our house. He would sit down and imagined he was Bruce Lee, and then looked at the dogs and say: "Come and get it". The dogs would growl and bark, but not attack him anymore. Back then we just laughed at this, but now 27 years later....I understand the power of what he at age 9 did. But the most powerful and amazing thing he did, what convinced me that positive thinking, your thoughts and envisioning can do, was how he played.
In a field next to our house there was a little junkyard with large construction trucks. He would sit in those trucks almost everyday and image himself driving them and working. Some days we could hear him playing in the trucks and envisioning himself as a real truck driver.

After he changed schools and went on to spend more time with his relatives, we kind of lost touch. about 3 years ago I found him back on Facebook and also saw articles about him in the local newspaper. And this is the amazing part. He is actually now working with large trucks in a leadership position. I often see articles about him fighting for his organization and getting things accomplished for his people. And I think people now around him have a great image and appreciation for him. If I compare this to when he was 8-9 years old....I think back then no one would have believed that this would or could be his future. Some of the kids who bullied him, are actually less successful than him. I wonder what his elementary school teachers think of this if they realize.

So what I am trying to say in this piece is that no matter where you are from, your background or situation. With the right attitude and thoughts, you can achieve a lot. Of course you will need some help from now and again, but believe me, this help is also a result of your thinking. So to all kids in the Caribbean (also the rest of the world): don't let your surroundings and circumstances hold you back. Be brave, keep dreaming and recognize help when it reaches you. The world can be quite forgiving and compassionate. I have learned through some hard times as well, and now look at children in a whole other way.....great potential and innocent enthusiasm....

Family time. Caribbean style in a European way

It has been a while since I updated this blog, and it has a reason, no excuse, but a valid reason.
In 2013 my daughter was born, and my wife and I are raising her alone in The Netherlands. This takes quite some dedication and time. We do it with love and enjoy it. Now she is almost 2 years old, and we have entered her in daycare and soon she will enroll in pre-school. This will provide us with some free time.
Since our daughter entered our lives we often talk about the difference between living and raising a child in the Caribbean compared to in our case Europe. We have visited both Aruba and the Dominican Republic to let our families meet her. The biggest difference between the two regions is the role a family plays in your child's life and upbringing. In the Caribbean I feel much more dedication from relatives, and a more pro-active approach. In Europe people love the child, will help out from time to time, but it is more an exception to the rule.
In Europe things are structured and organized. What they expect you and your child to do from birth till her 18th birthday. And the child will enter into this system, which has its benefits and downsides. Time will tell in our case. We do miss our families even more now that we have a child and realize even more the value of having, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins etc. To be fair, the problem in Europe is that relatives often live far apart from each other, making it more difficult to just drop by or letting you bring over your child to them. In the Caribbean, distances are shorter, and very often relatives live next to each other or in the same neighborhood/village.
Therefore I think it has also to do with the geography of the Caribbean, having a positive effect on family situations. From a European perspective one could argue that the proximity of relatives brings a lot of social control and pressure. Relatives who meddle in your family situation for example.
As they say, the grass is always greener on the other side. I Think raising a child in both regions has benefits and challenges. For now, we are making the best of the European advantages and coping with the "missing" Caribbean culture. I just wonder what culture my child will tend to go for more. Nevertheless I think having both, she will be able to reap the benefits of both. Time will tell.

"Colonial mentality syndrome" A continuation on the blog: Are Caribbean professionals longing for home...?

Exactly 4 years ago I wrote a blog on Caribbean students becoming professionals and their longing to go back home. In that Blog I mentioned this blog (I travel through time). What I indicated then was that the topic is quite complex, that I wanted to dedicate an extra blog on it.

It is August 2014, a new load of Caribbean students are arriving in Europe and probably North and South America as well. The students of 2010 are probably graduating, or already have. We are still in a global recession, jobs are scarce and things have changed compared to 4 years ago.
In said previous blog I mentioned the "colonial mentality syndrome" (CMS). And promised I would refer to this in a future (this) blog. I don't have statistics and other data to give a scientific basis for this topic, but base myself on experiences and chats with fellow Caribs. This is a blog that is open for (constructive) criticism and feedback. You are welcome to share your opinion and views as well.

For a lot of Caribbean Islands Tourism is one of the top economical sectors or industries, and therefore generates many jobs. However, one can argue that the tourism industry generates many low-level (paying) jobs and little high level (paying) jobs. Here is where the CMS comes in. Many times the top jobs are filled by people not native to the Island. I must be honest and admit that I have experienced many locals (on various Islands) being part of top management. Nevertheless, I am still seeing many foreigners in top management. To me it is funny as it is a mirror effect of Western countries complaining that foreigners (incl. Caribs) take their jobs. Therefore I try to take an objective look at things and leave nationalism, pride and personal feelings/opinion aside. The world is becoming more and more a global marketplace. This includes the job market. Is it then such a bad thing that a non-native has a job in a country he/she is originally not from? As I see it now, one should go and work where there is work and you are able to be the best you can be and happy. Are you a European dreaming of working in the tropics? Go for it. Are you a Carib dreaming of a cosmopolitan lifestyle and career in a modern western city? Go for it. At this point we should not let man-made borders stop us achieving our dreams. This sounds nice and reads like an idealistic pamflet, and many might say: yes, but you don't now my situation...

I agree, things are not as black and white, easy and straightforward as we would like them to be. So lets go back to the title of the blog and take a look at developments and opportunities back home. In a modern and ever more globalised world, the chance is big that you end up looking for a job with a large company or corporation. In tourism for example you might end up at one of the large hotel/resort chains, cruise lines, Airlines or operators. "Aha" I hear you say, "they are the ones employing foreign westerners for the top positions", hence the CMS. I used to agree with this quick judgement, but have changed my opinion over time. I personally know a couple of Caribbean natives who worked their way up and now have senior level jobs at these large corporations/organizations. I also know a lot of Caribs who occupy top level jobs locally on the Islands. Should we still point that CMS finger then? maybe yes, maybe no, but in any case, less. It all boils down to what you bring to the table. "Talent does get recognised", I was told long ago, and I believe this. It also depends a lot on your own efforts. We can get comfortable and less hungry and then get stuck into a certain comfort zone. Is there still inequality and do Human Resource depts. still show preference to foreigners? Probably, but don't let that stop you. Opportunity levels can differ per Caribbean Island and I tend to hypothesise that the Spanish Caribbean suffers most of CMS. The limiting factors I encounter when talking to people are: not having acces to travelling documents (Visa) and limited knowledge of International languages (English).

One of the many pitfalls for professional Caribs returning home is getting frustrated, when they are not able to bring change fast, and falling into the conformity trap. In my opinion this trap is biggest when working for the public sector (as a civil servant and/or politician). You need to be aware and accept what you will encounter upon your return. Of course your will to provide a positive contribution should remain top of your agenda, but don't be naive and get burned down to easy and quick.
A fellow blogger recently posted an interesting piece on this topic (in Dutch), urging students to think hard before coming back. Especially when dealing with Student loans ion USD$ and Euros. His advice was to stay abroad first to build up your career and pay off your student loans. And many of his readers (on social media) agreed.

Why did I wrote this blog? As a 37 year old Caribbean native, I hope I can raise awareness on CMS and provide support for the new generations and their knowledge and will to change. If you feel that our generation (35+) can still stir-up a revolution....let me know